June 6, 2003 I became a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I was baptized in Kirtland, Ohio in the Shoshone Brooke. This brooke (at the time hit me maybe mid shin) ran through the visitor center in Kirtland. My grandma and grandpa Hunter were serving their first mission, which is why we were visiting. It just so happened I turned 8 years old the week before we went back to visit them. I remember walking into the water with my dad, knowing that I didn't fully understand everything at the time, it was the right thing. As I came out of the water, I felt new. I felt whole. I felt pure. I felt clean. I felt like a higher being was proud. I then walked into the Newel K. Whitney Store and up to the School of the Prophets room. (if you don't know church history...read D&C) From there my grandpa confirmed me a member of the church and I received the Gift of the Holy Ghost. Those feelings and impressions that I had in that room at that moment are so dear to my heart. Years have past, and the love that I have for my Heavenly Father and Savior have grown and grown and grown. I have grown closer to them little by little, day by day, step by step. My other grandparents also served in Kirkland and about 4 years after my baptism we were able to go back. Once again, seeing my grandparents be illuminated with the light of Christ, confirmed to me that this is the true everlasting gospel.
I always have been in awe of the grace, elegance, and beauty the temple withholds. As I have visited open houses, attended the temple grounds, and participated in baptisms for the dead. I felt safe. new. whole. clean. pure. I feel very vulnerable to say this next part, but for me I feel like it's part of who I am. There was time in my life where I wasn't temple worthy. The reason is unnecessary, but as I once was able to enter the temple doors I no longer could for a period of time. As I applied the atonement into my life and recommitted myself to the temple, I could not wait to get back. I remember the day so vividly when I was able to go to the temple again. Right then and there I knew, that I would do everything in my power to stay there. To stay worthy. Because like I said in the temple I felt safe, new, whole, clean, pure.
I moved away to Logan for school after high school. I lived no longer then 2 minutes and 38 seconds away from the temple. As I attended weekly (I became a little obsessive one might say haha). I just couldn't get enough. I wanted to be in the temple. As my temple attendance became regularly, I found myself wanting more. I wanted to do more then baptisms and confirmations. I met with my bishop (s) for about two years having this desire to go through the temple to receive my own endowment. I was told so many times, "not yet", "in the future", and so much more. I became frustrated...WHY could I not go through. I wanted to so badly. So I studied, I prayed, I read my scriptures. I wanted to make sure that the ONLY reason why I was not going through the temple, was because the timing wasn't right. I wanted to be ready. As I met with my bishop a month before graduation, he said
"Jess, I want to tell you the Lord loves you. He is so proud of you and your diligence in preparing for the temple. If you still have the desire, the Lord would be pleased to welcome you in his house." tears. tears. tears. Streamed down my face. My time to enter into the temple was now.
The Lord's approval was all I needed. I was surprised however, how many people disagreed with my decision when I told them. I have not served a mission, nor am I planning on serving a full-time mission anytime soon. I am not dating anyone--so marriage isn't going to happen yet. (Husband where you at? haha) Everybody wanted a reason and well I didn't have one other then I wanted to, the Lord felt as if I was ready, and I couldn't wait any longer for it. The adversary is REAL. oh so real. As I listened to others opinions, viewpoints, etc. I started to doubt my feelings, my answers I received, and questioned if this is something I really wanted to do. Fear and Faith can not exist together. You either have fear or you have faith.
I continued with faith that this was right thing for me. My baptism day was perfect and I wanted this day to be even more perfect. Both set of my grandparents work in the Ogden Temple. I wanted to do my session when they could be there. It just so happened June 6, 2017 was on a Tuesday. That Tuesday my grandpa Hunter would be officiating the 6:30 endowment session. Could it get any more perfect? NOPE. I set my day. Got my dress (which I love! I got it at Qnoor). Picked out a bag (hardest part for me). Invited all my loved ones and waited patiently for the day.
The day came and now even a week later...I'm speechless. I felt safe. new. whole. clean. pure. I was able to see my grandpa as soon as I walked in to the recommend desk, he said something I will never forget. He said "welcome home". As I went through Initiatory my heart was so full. I am a daughter of God. He is my father. What an honor and privileged it is to know that. I met up with my mom in the bride room and oh my goodness. Heart Eyes times a million. From there I walked into the ordinance room. Seeing my grandpa and grandma reminded me of my baptism day. From there I watched every single one of my loved ones walk in. My heart was soooo full. I have always looked up to everyone that was there with me and just knowing that I had their support reminded me that families really are forever and everlasting. As I made it to the celestial room...It just felt right. I really am at a loss for words. If you know me, you know that I am not one to show lots of emotion. My gramps walked in and as we embraced... I finally understood what he meant when he said "welcome home". The temple is the House of The Lord. It is his Holy Place where he resides. Yet, as I come worthy to the temple and partake in every saving ordinance I am "coming" home.
I guess I will end with my testimony and some final thoughts. I know this gospel is true. That Jesus is the Christ. That through him, by him, and because of him we can be made whole, clean, and pure. That we are sons and daughters of our Heavenly Father who loves us. I testify that we are never alone, that angels are surrounding us. That the Temple truly is a safe haven, where we can continually be reminded of who we are, why we are here, and where we are going. Oh how glorious will be the day when we will be welcomed home by our father, but until then I will be in the temple becoming the Jessica I know he wants me to become.
