choose H A P P Y

This post is simply me venting. Plain and Simple.

Have you ever had those weeks, or days for that matter where you simply ask yourself---WHY ME? Last week was a week, where that was the case a lot. I honestly didn't think anything more could happen, it was Thursday one more day and it was the weekend. I was wrong. SMASH...car accident happen. Like alright....sweet. cool. with that being said here are my thoughts about those #@$%^%$# weeks. haha

1: It's okay too cry. I am not one who usually shows my emotions to the outside. I keep things in. After I exchanged insurance etc. with my car...I got in and drove away and little did I know how much tears my eyes could produce. I can officially say, I've cried in class, in a store, driving (where the tears blur the lines, luckily I'm safe), I've cried in a bathroom at a restaurant. Needless, to say the tears were coming and not stopping--I started to get so made and frustrated that I couldn't get myself together. Which brings me to my second point.

2: It's okay to not be the strong one all the time. With multiple events that led to the breakdown, I was being told by more than one person that "Jess you're strong you can handle it" "If anything was to happen to someone, it'd be you, you'll be fine" and so on so on. Well guess what. Its okay to admit to yourself and to whoever that you aren't okay. You do not have to apologize or feel wrong for how you are healing, from what or who destroyed you in the first place. That for a day or a couple of days you don't want to be the strong one. There is a famous Grey's Anatomy that fits perfectly..."You don't cry because you are weak, you cry because you've been strong for far too long." It's okay to cry and it's okay to not be yourself for a little bit.

3: The main thing I learned this past week and am still continuing to learn besides that crying and not being is strong is okay....is that I have someone who will always be strong for me and if I only lean on him more and more then guess what I will find Happiness sooner. My Savior is the strong one, he has cried and bled from every pore so now it's my turn to do the crying. As I have knelt down by my bedside morning and night these past few days, my tears start to slowly dry up and the peace, comfort, and love that overcomes me is slowly but surly reminding me day by day that things do get better.

So choose happy. I have a dear friend, who means more to me then they will ever know, who is positive 90% of the time...and from them I have learned more than anything that happiness is a choice.  Although, killing them with kindness or happiness is the worst/best thing that you can do. Serving others, be kind, being happy....that is what you should and all you can do when those tears dry away and you're staring at yourself in the mirror thinking what's next. If it takes your months, weeks, or days to get past what is happening....IT IS O K A Y. The act of trying to be happy and pressing on slowly but surely is what eventually in the long road lead to happiness. so choose H A P P Y.

P.S. a dose of laughter always helps.